Thursday, August 7, 2008

What I Would Do If I Were Prime Minister

Back in the days of the Roman Republic, there was an institution that existed in times of national emergency. They would appoint a dictator who would have full powers to deal with the situation for six months. He would then have to retire from politics for the rest of his life.
If a prime minister would suddenly get a selfless streak (don't hold your breath), he could do it. Just ask, what would Ben-Gurion do? So I am going to say what I would do if I were Prime Minister. I am taking into consideration that they would do all sorts of things to me afterward, but I would not care if I could save the country.
The first thing I would do is call a cabinet meeting. I would announce that I am about to do something that would get them all in trouble and suggest they all resign. I announce the firing of the Attorney-General with no intention of replacing him. I tell the cabinet that I am about to publicly flout the Supreme Court, US, EU and UN in fighting for our country. I fire any ministers who will not resign. I then hold all the cabinet ministries. I go on television and announce that I am resigning and will not run for re-election. I plan to take the full responsibility for my actions, which could lead to imprisonment or death.
I attack Gaza, announcing that I will wipe out Hamas without regard to Arab casualties. I will not listen to the results of any appeals to the Supreme Court. They can put me in jail after the war is over. Meanwhile, the army, who obeyed orders during the expulsion, will obey them now. Officers who refuse orders will be relieved of their command. Gaza will be leveled. Every trace of terror and terror support will be wiped out. Any defeatist activity will be handled with administrative detention, including the media. I announce that there will be no public opinion polls during the fighting, since it is irrelevant since I don't care what anyone thinks anyway.
When it's all over I let the Knesset discuss elections and pass legislation making me Yigal Amir's permanent cellmate or whatever. Or the head of the Shabak has me knocked off. Hmm. Maybe I should have him replaced also, along with a few leftist generals.
This is more than a mere attack of megalomania. It is an exercise in thought of what is possible in the Israeli system. If Sharon or Olmert can go wild, so could a prime minister who suddenly got an incredible attack of sanity.


Anonymous said...

Here's an idea: In addition to Gaza, you should apply the same treatment to the West Bank and all of Lebanon.

That would ensure that the number of people killed is significantly closer to 6 million.

goyisherebbe said...

I didn't say to kill everybody there, just the terrorists and their supporters and defang the place. There's nothing sacred about the number 6 million. And it's not funny. And you wouldn't say it if you were nonymous.

Batya said...

goyish, should that be part of the platform of my "Zot Shelanu!?"

Nu, are you joining?

goyisherebbe said...

Nu, what's to join? Manhigut Yehudit is something that runs in primaries and is not just in your head or on your blog. How about establishing "Zot Shelanu" as a faction in the Labor Party and try to convince Labor Zionists to go back to their roots?