Learning to be Late and Accepting Blessings

For as long as I've known how to tell time and been old enough to have control over "arrivals," I've been fixated and obsessive with being not just "on time," but early. I've never seen a stated "time to start" as an approximation. For me, even as a little girl going to a birthday party, I was horrified, totally mortified at the idea that I may be late.

No matter what the occasion, I'd treat it like catching a train or plane or making sure I made it to the theater well before the curtain was to go up.

When I got older, I learned that, at least here in Israel, times stated for wedding invitations were always much earlier than we needed to be there. After arriving too many times while the caterer was still having the tables set up, we learned how much time we had to add to the "invitation time." Here in Shiloh, it took a few years to learn that events are on what they call "Bnai Akiva time," which is nothing like the exact scheduling in NCSY or the LIRR.

Since we don't have a car and not only can't one rely on the bus schedule, besides the fact that sometimes there aren't buses from Shiloh to our destinations, I've learned to accurately plan my departures for all eventualities. But yesterday afternoon/last night, even I failed.

I needed to get to a "surprise party" in Kfar Saba by 6:30pm. With the help of google maps, I discovered that with bus connections at both the Yarkon Junction and Morasha, it would be very doable. There is even a 5pm bus to Kfar Saba from Ariel, though is goes through Rosh Ha'ayin. My plan was to give myself two and a half hours, which should have made me about a half hour early, at the latest.

Man plans and Gd laughs, as they say. At 3pm, I got a message from my kids that there had been a horrific fatal accident "outside of Ariel. The roads are blocked in both directions." Click here for report and photos.

"Maybe you should meet one of us in Jerusalem, and we'll take you." My kids suggested.

Considering that going via Jerusalem also would include traffic jams and double the distance, I declined.

"The Trans-Samaria Highway is wide road. No doubt it will be cleared by the time I get there."

To be honest, I was wrong.

At first it seemed like "business as usual" in Ariel, lots of buses and traffic near the university. I even declined to get on a Petach Tikva bus, because it wasn't going to Morasha, which would give me the quickest and best public transportation to Kfar Saba. Since I couldn't find the bus stop to the direct bus, I waited for the 386, which not only goes to Morasha, but it doesn't do the "grand tour" of Ariel. It's a great bus, but although the electric sign kept saying it was coming, the bus never showed, nor did any other for at least a half an hour. Finally, in desperation I took the next bus to arrive, which was a 296. The driver said that he goes to Yarkon but not Morasha. He warned us that the road was still blocked, and he may need to make a detour.

Actually, even with all the delays, I still had a good chance of being on time. That's how much "extra" time I had allocated to my trip.

The driver was optimistic and even said that it looked like the road had opened. But as we got a few kilometers from the accident scene, all we could see was the long line of lights of cars stuck in traffic. Yes, it was very dark by then. I began to realize that I'd probably be late and arrive long after the joyous "surprise."

When we passed the almost totally burnt up bus, all that remained was the spooky skeleton, I became very grateful for the fact that I was on a functioning bus, sitting comfortably and safely. Gd willing I'd arrive safe and sound, albeit a bit late. It wasn't the end of the world.

At the Yarkon Junction, I quickly caught a bus to Kfar Saba, and one of my kids picked me up to take me the rest of the way. I was glad, because even with the help of Google maps, I'd have trouble finding the house in the dark.

Yes, we walked in after the guest of honor, but it was before the "program." We had a wonderful joyous time. It was no tragedy to be late. It certainly wasn't the end of the world. Everyone was happy to see me and appreciated the efforts I make to attend all events. B"H, going home was easy; we had a ride with one of our kids, who would anyhow have passed Shiloh on the way home.

It's so important to remember to say תפילת הדרך Tefilat Haderech, the Traveler's Prayer when you start a trip. It may not guarantee a safe journey, but it reminds us that all journeys have their potential dangers, and we must thank Gd for our safety.

Waiting for rides/tremps and buses yesterday, Eli Junction and the Ariel University bus stop

תפילת הדרך T'fillat Haderech, Jewish Traveler's Prayer, Public or Private?

The Jewish Press has a poll up about whether or not it's a good idea for El Al to have someone say the  over the loudspeaker system when the plane is ascending.

Should T'fillat HaDerech (The Traveler's Prayer) be said on El Al flights over the loudspeaker? 

• Yes. El Al is a Jewish Airline. It's the Jewish thing to do. 
• No. It's religious coercion. 
• Yes. I like it. It adds a positive feeling of authentic Jewish culture to the flight. 
• No. It's offensive/annoying to some people. 
• Yes. But a real person should be saying it, not a recording, so that the blessing is real. 
• No. Because it won't be taken seriously. 
• They should 'Bench Gomel' after landing. View Results

Read more at: http://www.jewishpress.com/

I honestly wish every airline would do it some how.  I always have trouble reading the tiny print.  And on some airlines and flights, the lights are turned off by then so we can get some sleep.  The little airline reading light just isn't enough for my elderly eyes.

A number of years ago, I was privileged to accompany a couple of Nefesh B"Nefesh immigrant flights.  From the pre-flight excitement, the flight itself and the great production, including lots of nosherei after landing, the cheering, speeches etc, both times I felt that there was one thing missing.  I hope that short element is now included.

Yes, you guessed. I think we should have heard T'fillat Haderech over the loudspeaker system.  I can't imagine anyone finding it offensive. No doubt that most people won't listen carefully.  They don't pay attention to the safety and emergency instructions.

It should be part of the "El Al experience," like that hand-clapping when the plane lands.