Rabbi Pinchas Stolper, ZTz"L, Plugged the Assimilation Leak

 

NCSY National Convention 1967
That's me receiving Standards Award from Rabbi Stolper

Rabbi Pinchas Stolper passed away a few weeks ago. If you google his name, you'll find information and a number of obituaries. None of them touches on the man who was instrumental in introducing me to "Torah True Judaism" as he had called it, during my years, mid-late 1960s, in NCSY National Conference of Synagogue Youth of the OU.

Immediately upon reading an email announcing his death and planned burial in Jerusalem, I contacted a few old friends from NCSY who live here in Israel not far from me. It was clear to me that I had to attend his funeral. According to Jewish Tradition, attending the funeral honors the dead person, and a shiva visit comforts the mourners. From the announcement there wouldn't even be a shiva in Israel.

Who, you may be wondering, was Rabbi Stolper? And how close was I to him? To be perfectly honest, I'd never been invited to his home and don't remember much in actual personal conversations, except when we were preparing posters for the NCSY marchers in the 1967 Salute to Israel Parade, just after the Six Days War. Rabbi Stolper couldn't contain his joy at Israel's miraculous victory. Rabbi Stolper did attend my wedding in 1970 where he spoke about Israeli History from the vantage point of a Betari, which we had in common. See my husband's blog post about Rabbi Stolper on the Betar blog.

In 1963 when I first got involved in NCSY I was just looking for friends. We had just moved to Great Neck a few months before, and I didn't fit in at all. My family ended up joining the Great Neck Synagogue, an Orthodox shul which may not have been a good fit religiously, but the price was right. Orthodox we weren't, nor Sabbath observers nor kosher. 

Post World War Two most people considered Orthodox Jewry a dying breed. Considering the attraction of assimilation, poverty of the Great Depression, the trauma of Holocaust and the Jewish men who spent years away from home, the UOJCA, now called OU was desperate to keep Jewish teens Jewish. In the early 1950s they established NCSY. Member synagogues were encouraged to establish chapters and have activities for the youth. At that time there were few Jewish Day Schools, and not all the families could afford to send their children. Also, many member families were like mine, not at all religious. So NCSY had a dual aim:

• Keep the religious kids religious.
• Introduce Judaism to the non-observant and encourage them to follow the mitzvot

NCSY wasn't a Zionist youth movement. The term "aliyah" wasn't heard officially at all in the 1960s, though quite a few of my NCSY friends are living here in Israel now.

I'm not sure of the exact year, but sometime before my joining NCSY, Rabbi Pinchas Stolper had been appointed as National Director. He must have succeeded, because there was soon an Assistant National Director, Rabbi Chaim Wasserman. 

Rabbi Stolper was a Zionist activist and a Betari. He had been Natziv, Head of North American Betar in the very early 1950s. He and his wife tried living in Israel but went back to New York. Rabbi Stolper built an amazing youth organization with chapters, grouped by regions, all over North America. He was an amazing administrator. NCSY events went like clockwork; each session started and ended on time. Chapters hosted regional Shabbat programs. For teens like myself, this was our first introduction to Shabbat. Even those from religious homes learned to enjoy Shabbat even more than they had. We sang Jewish tunes and danced and sang and danced. I'm convinced that Torah True Judaism entered my heart and mind via my dancing feet and loud singing, not that I understood the words of the songs. The educational "sessions" were led by some brilliant people. There are things I remember to this day. 

At National Conventions, held in a large hotel, The Pine View, only Shabbat ended late. But that was the plan. Rabbi Stolper led the Havdala, and some of us girls were given lit candles to hold high. We were told that the higher the candle, the taller our future husband would be. Rabbi Stolper was most inspiring during Havdala.

The key to the success in reaching Jewish teens like myself was the tolerance of the staff of advisors. We were given time and acceptance while learning and experiencing Torah True Judaism. In those days, tzniyut modesty was rare, even religious women wore sleeveless and Orthodox synagogues hosted dances. Some OU member synagogues didn't have a mechitza separation and even had mixed seating. The OU was in a "war for Orthodox survival," and Rabbi Stolper was assigned to save Jewish youth. Yes, he and his staff worked hard stop the flood of assimilation, and they succeeded. The terms "outreach" and "baal teshuva movement" came afterwards. In the 1960s Yeshiva University Youth Bureau also had activities for teens on Shabbat and weeklong Seminars late summer and during winter vacation. It wasn't a national organization; I went to some of their events, too.

The Friday of Rabbi Stolper's funeral as one of my NCSY friends and I waited with his Israeli relatives for the bereaved children and body to arrive from the states, I wondered why there weren't mobs of people. From my perspective, Rabbi's Stolper's influence on North American Jewry was humongous, but it was half a century ago and more. Or can we say that his great success in strengthening Torah Judaism in teens has produced a generation that is incapable of fully comprehending what a miraculous success he had accomplished?

יהי זכרו ברוך

I wrote the following blog posts which also mention Rabbi Stolper and NCSY:

NCSY at 60!, Havdalah, What? I'm Not Unique?!

NCSY, What We Didn't Know

'In Every Generation...' A Voice From My Past

'In Every Generation...' A Voice From My Past

As I've mentioned quite a few times, I'm an NCSY success story. Although I came from a Jewish home, in which my parents were always synagogue members, we weren't Torah observant.  Actually, I wasn't even aware during a good portion of my childhood that something was missing. But even later on when I became more aware of the mitzvot,  the positive and negative commandments, I didn't really think that I needed to observe them.

It was only during the 1965 NCSY National Convention Havdalah, the ceremony that separates Shabbat (the Sabbath) from the regular days of the week that somehow Rabbi Pinchas Stolper found the right formula, the right words to break down whatever barrier was holding back my neshama, Jewish Soul. And ever since that night, my life just hasn't been the same.

Here's a recent recording of Rabbi Stolper.

Chag Pesach Kasher v'Sameach

May you have a happy and kosher Passover

NCSY at 60!, Havdalah, What? I'm Not Unique?!

It's hard to believe that NCSY National Conference of Synagogue Youth of the OU is celebrating sixty years of activities and bringing Jewish youth closer to Torah, G-d and the Mitzvot.  I became religious, shomeret mitzvot, aka Orthodox through what I saw, felt and learned in NCSY in the mid-1960's.

When I went to my first Shabbaton in the fall, early winter of 1963 I knew nothing of Torah Judaism.  Of course I knew that I was Jewish.  My family didn't celebrate Christmas or Easter, but we didn't observe kashrut, Shabbat or most of the Jewish Holidays and certainly none of the fast days besides going to shul on Yom Kippur.

The Judaism I became acquainted with, under the instruction/supervision of Rabbi Pinchas Stolper and Rabbi Chaim Wasserman, who jointly headed NCSY at the time, was a full-time religion.  It would be a lie to claim or imply that I was smitten by my first introduction to Torah Judaism.  The truth is that I was more attracted to the social and organizational life I discovered in NCSY.  In direct contrast to my new life in Great Neck where we had just moved to the summer of 1962, in NCSY I found friends and approval.  Yes, nobody shunned me for wearing the wrong clothes, even though my tops were sleeveless which I knew was against regulations.  The administrators and advisors knew when and where to pick their battles.

As I worked my way up as chapter and regional officer, nobody forced a sweater on me, even at National Convention 1965. I had very carefully and "davkally" chosen my wardrobe without a sleeve or sweater, pushing limits even as I enthusiastically participated and listened to every session/lecture and every event. I also stood out as an energy-filled dancer at all meals and opportunities.  The effect of the mantra-like lyrics of the songs we sang must have sunk in very deeply, though I was unaware.

עבדו את ה' בשמחה

Ivdu et Hashem b'Simcha

Worship G-d with Joy

Nobody was more surprised than myself when during the Havdalah, which ends Shabbat, Rabbi Stolper's words finally "cracked" my resistance and suddenly I was in tears vowing to bring Shabbat and all of the other Mitzvot to my everyday life.

Please don't think it was an easy, quick path or battle. I had many hurdles in terms of family, friends and school.  Of course even almost fifty years later I consider it all worth it.  I can't imagine my life without the Torah, Mitzvot and living in Israel. Friends I made in NCSY are still my friends, and I do my best to be a credit to NCSY.  This picture is up in my home for all to see.

I had always thought that my story about Havdalah being the key to my neshama soul was unique, but apparently it isn't.  Havdalah is the ceremony that separates the Holy Day of Shabbat with the other days of the week.  It's the reality check.  We can't have Shabbat if we don't do the weekday chores and preparations. In This World we have to balance the two.  It takes six days of work to create and prepare for Shabbat.  Listening to Rabbi Stolper speak, and I don't remember after all these years decades what he actually said, it was clear to me that I couldn't continue living without my weekly dose of Shabbat.  From the short video/film that NCSY produced, I wasn't the only one whose spiritual vulnerability was touched by Havdalah.


After that Havdalah, my life was never the same, and I will always be grateful to NCSY and the amazing staff it had at the time for that.

NCSY, What We Didn't Know

My husband was sent a book to review, Living From Convention To Convention: A History of the NCSY, 1954-1980. I grabbed it immediately.

"I'm the NCSY'er. I'm the one who must read it and review it."

At first I read the book quickly and with great enthusiasm. It began with a Forward by Rabbi Pinchas Stolper. It hit my emotions like many of his talks had done when I was in high school.

Lag B'Omer in Bear Mountains, NY, 1963, was the first NCSY event I ever attended. Less than six months earlier on a wintry Saturday or Sunday night, my father drove me to the Great Neck Synagogue to attend a "Teen Club" get-together. We had only moved to Great Neck late August, just before school started, and my parents had decided that my getting involved in the synagogue youth activities would be the best way for me to make more friends. I was suffering severe culture shock after our move from Bell Park Gardens, Bayside to Great Neck, New York.

The Teen Club meeting was in a large old house in the woods behind the synagogue's building. I immediately felt at home with the kids. It was under the auspices of an Orthodox Synagogue, but in those days there was very little to differentiate teen programming between Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Judaism. We were just Jewish kids who lived in Great Neck. There was a youth director, either Stan or Hal Greenberg. We met weekly, and at some point, we were informed of trip to Bear Mountains, and I went.

Honestly, I don't remember anything very "Jewish" about those early events. It could have been the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts. I certainly had no idea that these fun activities would end up totally changing my life. And even when I began attending Shabbatonim, conclaves and conventions I just thought of them as fun social activities. That included the constant singing and dancing to Hebrew songs during the meals.

It seemed to me that this organization was well-established, well-oiled and very experienced. Only now after reading Zev Eleff's book have I discovered that in essence I was part of a grand experiment led by Rabbi Stolper.

Rabbi Stolper was out to prove that if you exposed ordinary American Jewish teenagers to Torah True Judaism, they would accept it. It took me a few years, but in the end I did. By the time I graduated high school, four years after that picnic, I was as Torah observant as I could be in a totally non-religious home.

Now, about the book. On one hand, it was like reading personal, disturbing things about your parents, things children don't need to know. Rabbi Stolper and Rabbi Chaim Wasserman, his Assistant National Director and my Regional Director, always gave the impression that they were fronting a strong movement. Even though I was a chapter, regional and finally national officer, I had no idea of the organizational difficulties they constantly faced from the OU. Now that I've read the book, cover to cover, I appreciate more, if that's even possible, how much they did.

The book itself is badly organized and doesn't project the passion of the NCSY experience. After a while I found it difficult to read, because there was no clear timeline. The narrative skips all over the place, maybe because the young author has no personal knowledge. It became tedious reading. I doubt if anyone unconnected to NCSY during the times discussed could get through the book without suffering total confusion.

I was very disappointed. Regardless, I plan on lending it to other NCSY'ers who are still close friends. Yes, I still maintain strong friendships with people I met through NCSY. Yesterday I showed it to one who is anxiously awaiting her turn to read the book. We discussed writing our own NCSY history through the eyes and memories of former NCSY'ers.

NCSY was established at the time when all experts were predicting the demise of traditional, strict Torah Judaism. It was the first kiruv, Orthodox Jewish outreach, organization. I don't have sufficient words to thank the idealistic, daring pioneers who ran NCSY in those early days. Who and what would I have been without NCSY?