Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Father, Here in Shiloh

Frum N' Flipping wrote her "defense" to her neighbors here, who may be thinking nasty thoughts about her.  It made me wonder if my neighbors understand why the lights are going on and off in my house on Shabbat.  Nobody has said anything and considering my neighbors, I don't think they will.  I trust that they understand.

I've been blogging more on me-ander about the ongoing saga of my caring for my elderly father.  And on both blogs, I've mentioned that I didn't grow up in a Torah observant home.  This makes my father's living here even more complicated than just dealing with an elderly man with memory difficulties. My father's childhood was in a kosher home, and they made the house kosher forty years ago, so the kitchen isn't a problem.  He doesn't prepare his own food and hasn't for years even in his own home.

The biggest issue is Shabbat.  I've decided to "ignore" what he does in his room, including turning off lights in the hallway and bathroom.  If he asks about plugging in his shaver, I just tell him that it's not necessary, since it's Shabbat and nobody shaves on Shabbat.  We've kept things calm and pleasant, and isn't that what it's all about?

Here in Shiloh, everyone has been friendly and supportive.  Baruch Hashem, thank G-d. 

6 comments:

Keli Ata said...

You are blessed to have such understanding neighbors who understand your unique situation:)


And the need to balance Shabbat with the need to honor your father.

G-d bless you all.

Batya said...

Shiloh is a wonderful place.

goyisherebbe said...

The advantage of living in a small community is that the neighbors catch on and know what is going on. There are no witch-hunters in your neighborhood. But nonetheless it is not an easy task to take care of a parent who is not fully aware of what is going on. We are sufficiently challenged by Janet's father living in an assisted living facility and having to keep up with his various medical, financial and social issues. He hasn't come out here to Kochav Hashachar for a long time. Being cooped up for a whole Shabbat with little great-grandchildren chasing around like a band of wild -ahem- Native Americans is just something he is not going to go for. During the week he is pretty well occupied.

Batya said...

At this point, this is the best arrangement, though we haven't had the next generation over since he's here. We're challenged for space, since the room where the little ones slept has been redecorated formy father.

Lady-Light said...

How interesting. You are being really wonderful, getting around what your father does on Shabbat without confusing him or admonishing him. That's a tough thing to do. And as the other commenters stated, it sounds as if Shiloh is also a very understanding community.

Batya said...

ll, I'm just going with the waves, not pushing in any direction. What happens, is what will be.