Hamas War

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Sadly True

A couple of weeks ago, Frum Satire started a post with what seemed like a joke:


Two friends of mine spent Rosh Hashanah last year by this girls house in "Long Island. These guys aren’t really the shul going type, so they got up at 12 and went to shul for about an hour. About two weeks later, the girls parents got a bill in the mail for their attendance at shul without having bought tickets. Apparently the shul had some spies of some sort to rat out the cheaters. Thats Long Island for ya."

Then I spoke to a friend who lives in an upper-class US suburb:


"No, I didn't plan on having any guests for Yom Kippur. I can't afford to buy extra tickets. Then a university student called and begged me, since he has no family to go to, and there's nothing where he's studying. I finally got my synagogue to agree to give him a seat."

And I thought it was just one of Heshy's jokes.

Yes, I know that it cost a lot of money to maintain synagogues, and the dues-paying members should be expected to give their seats to those who can't be bothered paying, but there must be a way to allow everyone in.

A couple of years ago I was in New York for Tisha B'Av and the OU synagogues had programs about "kiruv," bringing Jews closer to Judaism. Nu, so why isn't there something, even a non-reserved row of folding chairs?

Yes, I understand that Hesh's story and mine concern young guests, singles, university students, not people from the neighborhood. But kiruv should start with those, making them feel welcome. In a few years they could be married and looking for a place to live, and if they have good experiences in those communities the communities will benefit.

Kiruv shouldn't be a series of isolated programs. It must the ongoing and a characteristic of the shul and community.

Chag Sameach

2 comments:

Hadassa DeYoung said...

Batya, Shalom!
It's not like that everywhere! Eighteen years ago I went to my university roommate's house in Rochester, New York for fall break, which coincided with Shabbat and Yom Kippur. On Shabbat morning we spoke to some of the women about the upcoming Yom Kippur services and in the course of conversation realized that we DIDN'T HAVE TICKETS. My roommate's family wasn't religious so she didn't even have a history of attending the synagogue. Would there be empty seats (yeah, right) or room off to the side to put folding chairs? Would we have to pay? We were instantly assured that there would definitely be room for folding chairs and we would have a least one real seat because one of the women had purchased a ticket for a daughter who wasn't going to be coming home. And no, we wouldn't be asked to pay. I guess they took pity on students from non-religious backgrounds.
I don't remember the name of the synagogue, but it was on St. Regis street and the joke was that it was the "St. Regis Synagogue".
I hope that they haven't changed their policy.
Mo'adim Le'Simha!
Hadassa

Batya said...

I have no doubts that in many or most places Jews aren't totally locked out if they can't pay, or just want to step in for Yizkor. But just the fact that there are communities without many options, depriving Jews of that necessary taste of Yiddishkeit...

I remember when I was here as a student, and my friends and I became hysterical worrying where we could doven. Please remind me to write about what happened at the end.