"She has no idea of what she's getting into."That heavy covering was woven with meaning, some of it maybe not all that pleasant. Brides veiled like this one are generally pretty innocent and inexperienced in the ways of the world and sex. They are frequently young and have met their chattan, groom or spouse to be via a matchmaker, after her parents checked out and approved him and his.
According to modern wisdom this should be a recipe for disaster. Is it?
I don't know. Maybe I was influenced by an article Heshy wrote on his Frum Satire blog about divorce in frum society. He wrote from experience that the matchmakers try to fix up religiously problematic men with much more religious women with the expectation that they can get the guys to become more religious. When the women fails in the task, and the man becomes even less observant, the marriages often become unbearable and they sometimes divorce. I really think many of those marriages are headed for misery.
Last year I reviewed an excellent book about finding the right marriage partner called I Only Want to Get Married Once. It stressed that the couple should be matched according to the principle of having the same goals, aims and values. And that goal shouldn't be "to get married and have children." There's lots more to marriage than that.
And yes, marriage is a risk and mystery. There are no money-back guarantees. It's rare to hear of a perfect marriage. I've helped friends through divorce. Sometimes divorce is the only way to survive.
Sometimes knowing too much is worse than knowing nothing.
Brides like the one pictured may seem to be powerless, but in some ways they aren't. There's frequently a support group to help them out.
It's said that no matter how well and bride and groom knew each other before the wedding, they will experience the unexpected once married. And it is definitely worth taking the risk.