Hamas War

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Don't Throw That Out Yet, Folks!

Today we received a mailing from "One Home" ("T'nuat Bayit Ehad"), the EU-financed organization founded to peacefully get us settlers out of our homes. If you read even a fraction of it you can easily see that it's a very fancy form of junk mail, a kind of real-estate pornography. Any sensible person knows that the proper place for such paper is in the garbage, or in a recycling bin if your community is "green" enough to have one. I was heading to the appropriate pail when I noticed the self-addressed envelope enclosed, paid for by the organization.
The anti-Semites who funded this abomination apparently hope we will use this envelope to send them personal information which will be useful in destroying our communities. They have plenty of money to spend on this propaganda, although not a Euro to relieve the suffering of the Gush Katif refugees or the sitting ducks of S'derot.
I saw that envelope and I came up with a mischievous idea, which I will share with you: USE THAT ENVELOPE! Not to send them a filled-out form, but a piece of your mind!
You can write a letter telling how you love your home and your homeland, and will not leave it voluntarily. (Don't waste too much time writing an opus magnum here; it's pearls before swine!)
You can fill out the form with names and addresses of Arabs taken from a phone book from anywhere in Israel.
Make several copies of the form and volunteer several Arabs for repatriation.
You can copy an article by a rabbi or other wise person on the importance of settling the Land of Israel.
You can send them historical stories or pictures of how the Jews were helpless in pre-Zionist Europe (or wherever).
You can send them historical stories, maybe even personal ones, about how vulnerable we were within the " Auschwitz Borders" before 1967.
You can send an orange ribbon.
You can send curses.
You can send a piece of toilet paper, new or used, to show what we think of their scheme.
You can send them photos of the all-too-frequent cost of territorial compromise: a terrorist wound, a loved-one's grave, a yahrzeit candle, a newspaper clipping about an act of terror, your former home in Gush Katif, a picture of Jonathan Pollard...
You can be personal, or less so, whichever makes you feel better. The idea is to "rub their noses" in the fact that this is not a peace process, but a piece process. And that we are not stupid enough to buy into their scam.
I don't expect to "convert" any Leftists or non-Jews to love Israel. But I reckon that if they sent out 200,000 letters and got 0 response they would just think that the campaign was not efficient enough, or not slick enough, to get their message across. Or maybe our mail doesn't come through. Or maybe we are too busy stealing money from the impoverished neighborhoods or eating Arabs for breakfast to get their "vital message". That better "packaging" will get the results they want.
We can be almost as annoying to them as they are to us! They're paying the postage, so let the junk mail flow both ways! The agency which is spending its budget on junk mail may think twice in the face of a flood of unfriendly return mail at their expense. The easiest thing is to send the form back blank, which says "I heard you but I'm not having any". If you have the time and inclination to be creative, go ahead; its safer than tranquilizers, less fattening than chocolate, and FREE!
Have fun, hevreh!
.

4 comments:

Batya said...

Brilliant!!
Thanks for posting this wonderful suggestion.

Anonymous said...

I didn't get it, though I saw the ad somewhere. I think they assume we are uninformed hicks living in the boonies rather than above average intelligent people who know that if we agree to their plan to 'repatriate' us, then we will be just as screwed as the other 9000 people who were expelled from Gush Katif.

Where is moetzet yesha?!?!? They waited until the summer of 2005 to give free bus tours of the Gush. Now's the time to bring people to see Eli, Efrat, Kedumim, as well as the refugees in Shomria, Ariel, and Shavei Shomron.

Why are only Nachman and Eldad screaming?!

Anonymous said...

Great minds think alike -- my Dad has long had a policy of using the prepaid reply envelopes included in junk-mailings to send all of it right back to the originator.

Anonymous said...

Try to find something heavier than just a piece of paper ... mail is charged by weight, is it not?

This way, you make them spend their money supporting the Israeli postal system ... a win-win.